I remember when I was a child. One of my favorite cereals was "Captain Crunch Berries." You know, one of those sugar-laden kid's cereals that featured in big bright letters "Now including 25% more berries!" I'd be delighted to scoop my spoon into one of those cereals, hoping to find a treasure trove of yummy fruit flavors in every bite. I'd sometimes seperate the berries from the un-berry-flavored pieces and eat all of the unflavored ones first, leaving the berries for last. It was my little time. My little alone time with my cereal. It was probably one of the first experiences of enlightenment I ever had. Just as I would eat my veggies - getting them out of the way quickly - in order to indulge in my bowl of icecream, I would quickly eat the unflavored pieces faster just to get to my berries. I loved my berries. Nobody could take my berries away from me.
But then something magical happened. Or atleast I thought it was magical; at the time my feeble brain could not grasp such a seemingly wonderful thing and perceive it otherwise. They introduced a new Captain Crunch cereal called "Oops, All Berries." Remember that cereal? As I was grocery shopping with my mother and I saw that floating there in front of me, I knew I had to have it. It was a dream come true! I now wouldn't have to wait for my berries! I could indulge in them right away! It was a veritable endless adventure of berry-dom and all mine to explore! After much begging, I finally convinced my mother to buy me this sugary cereal. I couldn't wait until I woke up the next morning to dive in! Oh, it was like Christmas all over again! Christmas each morning! Or so that's what I thought at the grocery store. It seemed so perfect. It seemed like something that someone made just for me.
The next morning came, I awoke all tired and sleepy-eyed, but spirits lightened when I remembered my new cereal! I rushed to the kitchen and poured myself a bowl. I didn't even stop to look at the toy that came out of the box; no, this was far much more important. These were berries, only berries, and they were all mine. Oh, the first bowl was delicious. It was everything I dreamed of. All that berry flavor! The next morning was magical, but something seemed off. I blamed it on something in the weather. The morning after that, the magic was all gone. My berries were losing their flavor. "Why? Why are my berries losing their flavor? They are all berries! I should be tasting a kaleidescope of mouthwatering flavors!" I had thought. But something strange was happening. I found myself becoming sick of the cereal. I hadn't even gone through four bowl-fulls when I started to not like the cereal anymore! Oh, what happened to the magic? What happened to the splendor of waking up in the morning? The berries, they were all mine, but it didn't seem so wonderful anymore.
I grew up. I forgot about the berries. I learned about many other disappointments in life, but today as I reflect back upon that box of cereal, I can finally begin to realize why the magic didn't last. Too much of one thing is never good. I thought I would forever be in heaven due to me having all the berries I could shove in my mouth. That wasn't the case. It was a very big disappointment, as a child finally learns for the first time there is no Santa Claus. I was enjoying the berries before the All Berries came out because they came with hard work! I had to obtain my berry treat by first going through that which wasn't berry. Much like life, we take for granted many things when we are blessed with much of them. They lose their magic. What would have made me respect the berries even more would be a cereal featuring a less amount of berries. More work, harder obstacles, seemingly better reward. Quite opposite of what you think about, isn't it? What happens when one wins the Lottery? Sure there is the primary feeling of excitement and bliss; that person doesn't have to worry about finances for the rest of his/her life! But after a week or two, don't you think the feeling dies down? Don't you think the major increase in financial success loses its magic?
Embrace your life for how it is. Lavish the daily obstacles you endure. Work hard, reap your rewards, relax knowing that with enough hard work you will never lack the magic of anything. Sure being an instant millionaire, movie star, or on the cover of every magazine out there seems wonderful, but in reality it's just another normal thing. Contentment is perhaps the best thing we can learn, alongside with patience. As for me and my berries, oh we still have our adventures together once in awhile, but I always make sure to get the box with the least berries =-)Current Mood:  contemplative Current Music: Random Moby Songs |
It has been quite some time since I have posted here, goodness! Well I don't think I do so because not many people read. I miss doing a daily journal. Maybe I'll start up again? I don't know. Quick updates on my life:
1) I'm aspiring to do a cross country bikeride. It's really possible. I just need to earn $5,500 in donations for the American Lung Associaton then I'll be able to go with a team of 40 other brave individuals on a 48-day, 3,300 mile journey of a lifetime. I'll post an entry right after this one explaining it in greater detail.
2) I'm looking for a job. Since I got back from Pennsylvania I've been a lazy oaf, and my bank account is taking a nosedive into the zeros.
3) I'm now an official abstract painter. I love to paint. Maybe I'll post my work. If I'm in the mood.
4) I'm going to be doing a wedding with my good pal Rocky Lewis early next year. I'll not be a photographer like I'd planned, but I'll be FILMING it! Ahhh! I'm so excited, although I have absolutely NO skill in filming!
5) I want to get involved in theatre. I want to be an actor on stage.
6) Nitrous Oxide does not taste good coming from whipped cream cans, but it gives a relaxing light headed feeling.
7) I still ride my bike everywhere. I'm afraid that my leg muscles are getting more of a workout than the rest of my body, and I don't want to be disproportional for the rest of my life so I'm frantically trying to keep up with my upper body, but since I'm super scrawny and slender and my metabolism is at unhealthy heights, I'm having a difficult time doing so.
8) I want to go to Australia next summer, but since my plans of real estate didn't work out due to the economy, I'm stuck.
9) I listen to Jazz 24/7. It makes me feel cool.
10) I love my friends.
11) I'm getting sub-10 greats on most DDR songs now.
12) I won 3rd in a freestlye competition in Chico. It was the first time I've ever attempted to freestyle. My previous raving experience came in handy.
13) I made a new MySpace profile, and I think I'll post there a lot more. Go check it out at www.myspace.com/weatherstorm
14) I don't want to stop on unlucky 13, so I'll make one more. Merry Christmas!!! |
I tell all of you, desperately, unless you are planning on seeing the object of your affection like right away, don't plan on staying in a stable long distance relationship.
Myla grew feelings for someone else from her dance class -- her dance partner no doubt.
I feel ... rejected and useless. It hurts, dammit. It's like ... having your insides turned outside. I'm trying to stay strong. Maybe it was for the best. I like to think it's for the best, but what if it was meant to be, and somewhere somehow I did something wrong?
It wasn't anything to do with me. I'm strong. I was willing to shell out several hundred (closer to a thousand) to fly out there, get a hotel and a rental car for a few days to be with her. I was willing to wait. I never looked at any other girl with ANY thought of having feelings for them. It seems that Myla wasn't so strong. She's falling for this guy, and I KNOW that I would have been ten thousand times better for her than him.
Life goes on. Another sour memory to add to my collection. It's funny because I thought love was finally going my way. Life goes on, life goes on.Current Mood: Heartbroken Current Music: Coldplay - Fix You |
Now that I've quit Bel Air I've had some time to work with my mother on a new job. Basically, we're buying houses for cheap, fixing them up - painting, structural, cosmetic, landscaping - and then selling them. We placed an offer on our first house for $250,000, and we're pretty sure it'll go through. There's about 2-4 weeks worth of working on this house. It's in a nice part of town, old town Roseville, but it's not in good shape at all. Mother figures we'll get atleast $80,000 profit on this one. My share would probably be $15,000 if I put in at least a good 3 weeks hard work. This is our first one so it's going to be pretty small in comparison. In the future we're going to be working on houses where I could potentially be making $10,000 per week. Maybe more if we play our cards right.
I'm going to try to save up $250,000 before I move out of Sacramento and take the business over to the eastern states to work on some multi-million dollar real estate. Never figured I could be a millionare within 2-3 years. It all starts small, and it takes a lot of hard work. After I get a sufficient amount of income I'll be able to finally travel to other countries and partake in mission's trips. Perhaps even start a non-profit organization of my own to help people in those places. Possibilities are endless. The Lord really has been blessing me lately! After all is said and done I can settle down, start a family, and write books. Life's really starting to shape up. If only I could somehow manage to fly across the country to see my girlfriend! |
The Earthquake in Asia tolls over 40,000 deaths. Forty thousand! "But why should we be worrying," you think. "People die all the time. They are just numbers." What if everyone you've ever met suddenly died? What if everyone you've ever spoken to just dropped dead? That probably wouldn't even be a quarter of the amount.
But it's life. It happens all the time. People come, people go. There's no telling when it will be your turn. How can we live with that? We push it aside. We keep ourselves nice and cozy in our little bubbles of "Oh that could never happen to me." We continue with our silly charade as if we are the movie stars in our own feature film - the main character NEVER dies!
Makes me think. I could go any second. Almost enough to drive a man to change his life around for the better. But then I think, "I'm already doing the best I can!" Somehow it feels that death is inevitable. Today could be my last. If it is, I want to let all of you know that you mean so much to me! If I happen to pass on today or tomorrow, know that I've lived a wonderful life and I don't regret any of it. Even though my past haunts me, I have lived a good life. Whether I die tomorrow or in 50 years, I will live each day with a smile on my face, even if I have to force it there once in awhile.
It's hard to fathom the sheer magnitude of such a disaster, but I'm praying for all of the 40,000 or more broken hearts right now...Current Mood: contemplative Current Music: Nobuo Uematsu -- Vincent's Theme |
| » Extraction |
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I got a wisdom tooth pulled today. It was growing in completely horizontal. The dentist didn't sugar-coat anything - which I'm glad he didn't. He said it was going to be a long and painful process. In order for him to get the tooth out he had to saw off the end that was pressing against my back molar, pull it forward a little bit, saw off more, pull more, then yank the tooth into a vertical position so he can get a grab at pulling it out. At first it didn't go as planned. It wouldn't move. Every time he yanked at the thing I felt my entire jaw getting wrenched out of place. In the process a few other teeth in my mouth were slightly bent out of place too. The process went like this: sawing, prying, pulling, twisting, rinse and repeat. I clenched my fists so hard they were about to draw blood. Every time he sawed away at it there was blood and tooth splattering everywhere. It was like a bad dream. The saw didn't bother me at all. I was actually relieved when he kept pulling that out. The part i hated were the huge plyers. He'd grab the tooth and completely bend it! I swore my jaw was going to fracture - he even said that was a complete possibility. I like this dentist. Whenever something didn't go right he'd say "Oh crap!" and whenever something went good he said "We're making slow progress." I laughed through it for some reason, even though I was in unbearable pain. Amidst the hacking, blood splattering, yanking, I felt some sort of peace. Maybe it was the novicaine, which I'm still thanking Lord Amighty for providing us humans.
I'd much rather go through that procedure again than endure the pain I feel right now. As soon as the anethesia wore off I felt the TRUE pain of the operation. It felt like a metal spike was smashed through the back of my mouth. Hard to suppress the tears. But all is said and done. Now I am starving because I haven't eaten any food all day long and my mother won't let me bikeride to the store to get some soup, yet she's hardly lifting a finger to get some for me. Times are tough. Nothing some vicodin, hard trance, and a game of tetris can't fix.
Oct. 13th, 2005 @ 08:27 pm
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| » The Human Game |
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I've rewritten this post about 3 times so far. It's never come out how I wanted it. It's easy for me to place the blame on others, and not on myself. Even if I don't deserve the blame, partially it belongs to me.
I've been hurt. That's all there is to say. I'll leave out the petty details. I was hurt by someone who I thought was a friend.
But it's not because his intentions were bad. Sure he could have handled things in a more honorable manner and left me away from tears ... but I know it's just my time to leave that behind
Putting things behind is hard. Most of my memories include some part of this past I'm trying to leave behind. I want to forget it all and move on. I'm not running away. I am not running away. I am not running away. I am moving on. I am putting something negative behind me in order to prepare for the positive. I've a lot of wonderful things set out before me, and this drama here in Sacramento is pulling me down. I need to move on and become that person I want to be. It is time for me to move on.
Packing my bags. Here I come.
Oct. 3rd, 2005 @ 11:41 pm
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| » Countdown Begins ... |
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First of all, I had an AWESOME birthday party! Thank you all who came! We had 2 gaming systems going, some fun music, and plenty of conversation and laughter. The Happy Birthday song was sung exceptionally well and the cake was delicious. My Bell Pepper Patties were a big hit. Amazing what a little creativity can do!
Next weekend Rave! It's been too long since I've been to one. I miss the scene. Music, lights, atmosphere... I hope I can make it!
Okay, so the countdown is at 23 for my trip over yonder eastward. I am looking forward to this a lot! Two weeks in the arms of the one I love, then two more weeks with my best friend. Life is great. Then when I come home I start helping my mother's business. We're going to buy houses, fix them up, and then sell them. Apparently it's a very good business to get into. Mother said I could be making upwards of $50 an hour. A few months of that then I'll be departing for Australia. Plans were changed. Couldn't afford the harsh Holiday prices. Besides, I need all my money for my trip yonder eastword. By the time July 2006 comes, I'll probably have about $15,000 saved up. Ideally, that is. I'm going to save every penny I can. No luxury spending for me; however, I do have full control on whether or not a specific item is considered 'luxury' or not. I'm thinking about this time next year I'll be getting ready to fly back to the east to stay for a longer period of time. I don't know how this is going to work out. If Myla truly is the one for me, I'll definitely want to be with her ... but if I'm busy with mother and I's business, that will be hard. Well, the Lord will find a way. Right now all I do is focus on the present and the near future. 23 days, and all will be well.
Sep. 25th, 2005 @ 10:05 am
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| » Interesting ... |
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Things are very interesting. Life is interesting. Everything is interesting. Seems almost as a dream -- a very good one mind you. Everything seems different for some reason. Do you know that state of mind when you are half awake and half asleep, and your mind wanders around aimlessly? Everything seems mystical and illuminating. I see something vague, my future, coming into appearance. I stare at my future, and I smile because it is more than I've ever dreamed of. And I stare at my present, and it too is more than I've ever dreamed about. I was in the darkness, yet surrounding my blinded self was so many amazing things. A light came on, and I soon realized while I may have been shrouded in darkness, I was in a wonderful place.
I have fallen in love. I've fallen in love before, but it wasn't quite right back then. It was ... perhaps you could say the feelings weren't mutual. I've changed since three years ago. I'm different. All of the previous obstacles I went through molded me into the person I am today. I feel different. I feel complete. I was missing a piece of the puzzle, but now I hold it, and everything is complete.
So, this is love. I never knew what is was. I always saw it as a mystery. I once told a friend of mine, "To me, Love is a locked chest, of which the key that opens it remains within its dark and dreary depths." I guess I never could understand what it was because I never truly felt it. Now I do. But not fully. I admit, this love is felt without an actual presence; that is to say, I haven't met this wonderful girl yet because she lives 3,000 miles away. I always laughed at people who fell in love online. Now I am one of those persons, and I am now laughing at myself. I am now counting down the days -- joining in with many others -- until I can finally feel her warm, loving embrace.
It feels so right. Normally I would be a bit hesitant, doubtful about forming such strong feelings for a person on the unstable foundation of the internet. It never felt right, but now it does. I believe it's because I've finally met the right person for me. She's everything I've ever wanted, and then some. Perhaps we may lack a good amount of common interests, but that's the mystery of it all, allowing each other to experience a whole new splendor.
Perhaps it's just the beauty of falling in love speaking through me right now. I don't care. She is my everything, and I will treat her as such. I am not going as far as saying I am going to spend the rest of my life with her, for that is the Lord's decision, but I can say that so far things are looking very hopeful.
I do not worry anymore. I used to panic whenever I wasted a day away without accomplishing anything 'worthwhile.' Now I lean back and soak it all in. Life is a passing dream. Why worry about tomorrow when we can let tomorrow worry about itself? Things will come to those who have good faith, and my faith is in excess amounts. For now, I savor the flavor of the brisk night air, count down days, and think of the many journeys in store for this twenty year old.
God bless, and good night.
Sep. 23rd, 2005 @ 01:12 am
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| » Modern Day Technology |
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I’m sitting at the computer in the midst of a rousing game of tetris when my mother comes running up to me.
”Jason, the stereo isn’t working. Can you fix it please?”
Being the mechanical wiz that I am, I walk out into the living room to her aid. I take a look at it; yup, the lights are working, the wires are plugged in, and everything seems to be working right.
I gaze closer at the wiring, making sure everything is plugged in the right spots. Mother checks the wiring making sure it isn’t damaged, while I start to unscrew the face to make sure everything looks up to par on the inside.
My father comes up, being the old fashioned fellow, and we plea for his assistance. Meanwhile mother is rewiring it while I’m done taking off the faceplate. He walks up, ever-so-casually, places his hand on the volume knob and turns. With a deafening roar, sound is restored to the room.
Conclusion? I must rethink my life.
Sep. 11th, 2005 @ 08:19 pm
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| » My future |
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I told my parents in a heart-to-heart conversation what I want to be when I grow up. They were excited, sitting at the edges of their seats, waiting for me to say "Doctor" or "Lawyer" or "Astronaut." With a smile as wide as the horizon, and a passion in my voice, I gleefully told them, "I want to be a professional panhandler!"
Of course they were shocked. I think they were trying to hold their excitement in. They cried tears,... which I'm pretty sure were tears of joy. Mother had to run out of the room and slam the bathroom door. I guess she's so excited she needs some privacy! Father drove off and went to the local pub. Upon inquiry, he said "Need to forget myself." I think that means he wants to share his delight with his buddies over a few pints while telling them all about his awesome son. Yea I think it turned out all right!
Both of my parents seem to be really happy about my prestigious future I have planned out. Everything's going good in life!
Sep. 11th, 2005 @ 08:27 am
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| » More controvesy! |
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I miss the controversial debate that was featured in an earlier post, so I shall start a new one.
The chicken came before the egg! How else would an egg survive without a loving mother Hen to nurse it? It needs the warmth! Huh? Huh? All ye' naysayers, speak thy mind! Out with it!
Ooooh, this is going to be good. I can't wait to start my "Pork isn't the other white meat" debate!
Sep. 11th, 2005 @ 12:29 am
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| » Seven seas, divided |
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In the midst of pain, confusion, and endless torment, there is hope. With hope comes motivation, and motivation breeds inspiration. I think I may have found my hope. Just maybe things will work out ... maybe for once in my life things will be alright.
She is immensly special to me, and I do not want to have to nurse another scarring emotional wound... please Lord don't let it happen again. I just hope she's the one I've been waiting for...
Sep. 9th, 2005 @ 01:48 pm
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| » Calif. lawmakers pass gay marriage bill... |
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What's so wrong with a civil union? Why do they have to put it under the name of marriage?
I'm all for the benefits of being a gay couple, but Marriage is something sacred between only a man and wife. Why can't the government respect that? What's so different from being married and being unified? Nothing, other than the name. If that's truly the case then gays should be for Unions as long as they get their benefits. But no, that isn't acceptable for some reason. Why must invade our sacred rite of marriage? Something doesn't add up.
Marriage has been, and always will be, a religious thing. Why do people get married in churches? Why must an ordained minister govern the proceedings? Why does he read out of a Bible? Because its origins were of Catholicism and Christianity. I think it started going downhill with elvis-themed weddings and drive-thru marriages. Soon enough they are going to try to take out what little religiousness is left out of marriages, just like they did with the Pledge of Allegiance and the Ten Commandments in Courtrooms. This world has always been against Lord and Saviour Jesus Christ, and it's really starting to show.
It's a sign of the end of times. Mankind's evilness is overcoming the world. Natural disasters are hitting full force. Wars are spreading throughout the lands. It's the beginning of a cycle of events that will end with the rapture. Perhaps there is nothing we can do about the wickedness of what's going on. We're reaching an inevitable conclusion, filled with sin, corruption, violence, anger, and hatred. May God have mercy on all of us... for we are in His control.
Sep. 7th, 2005 @ 10:53 am
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| » U shud read this cuz it maeks u smart |
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http://encarta.msn.com/column_imshorthandmain_marthahome/Does_IM_Make_U_Dum.html
She didn't address all of the issues, but her article did cover most highlights about the negative effects of abbreviated speech. It is a good read if you're against 'net talk like I am.
Sep. 6th, 2005 @ 01:29 pm
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| » If you are bored ... |
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http://www.i-am-bored.com/bored_link.cfm?link_id=12356
Let me cure your boredom for you, and perhaps add a new addiction. I have watched it about 10 times so far and I laugh every time.
Stand away from your computer screen or squint your eyes a little bit for a better effect.
Sep. 6th, 2005 @ 11:58 am
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| » Oh, so true ... |
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"What's a better show of real patriotism -- cutting foreign oil consumption by occasionally riding a bike or slapping a flag sticker on your SUV that gets 11 miles to the gallon?" - Jim Caple
People need to roll the red carpet out for this man.
Sep. 2nd, 2005 @ 11:18 pm
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| » Vanity, Vanity, all is Vanity |
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I have found the answers I've been searching for. I found them inside the Holy Bible. I've been led astray far too long, holding back at the chance to search for the answers in the best place. I created excuses. I tried to find purpose in the world, rather than looking at the source.
Ecclesiastes tells of a King's journey to find purpose in this world. He built himselves kingdoms, hired slaves, concubines, had the greatest treasures in the land, and was the envy of many. He did not find peace. He did not find purpose. He wrote many times, "Vanity, all is vanity, all is striving after wind." I am not a king, but I can relate. I do not find pleasure in this world strong enough to satisfy what I crave. I thought my lack of intriguement meant something was wrong within me. Now I know that something is right within me. Now my heart is screaming out for something greater, something divine, something infinitely powerful, and I have experienced this glory. Now I want to share it with others.
They will not believe. They will ridicule. They will torment. They will cry out against me and what I believe. Such is their fate if they chose not to accept it.
This world is only temporary. We live, we suffer in our idealistic crusades, and then we die. We all die. Nothing we reap on this planet -- save for the souls we bless -- continues on with us when we die, whether it be Heaven or Hell. This world means nothing. This world is a treacherous place. All that we strive to accomplish, eventually forgotten. I've been struggling and stressing over this for the longest time. God has placed in my heart a longing so strong, it has thrown me into great depression. I thought I was lost and confused... no, I was only being led on the right path toward enlightenment and completion.
Who knows what this world has to offer me. It now means nothing. I have a greater home awaiting me, filled with infinite celebration with the Creator! I hope I find you there, too.
Sep. 1st, 2005 @ 01:36 pm
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| » In my dreams... |
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I like dreaming. So sue me. Don't say things against me just because I create something so big, sometimes seemingly impossible. Perhaps dreaming is all I have on this Earth. You are not me, so don't judge me in any way. You need to know all sides of the story before taking on an accurate opinion. Nobody except me knows my side.
Who knows what I will and will not accomplish? That's not for you to decide. If you have something negative to say, stay away from me. It's hard enough living without much motivation. I don't care how your lifestyle is, what [or what not] you strive for in life, or who you are; I enjoy hearing encouragement, praise, and love. No more of this negativity stuff. If you don't think I can accomplish something, keep it to yourself.
That is all.
Aug. 31st, 2005 @ 02:34 pm
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| » Insanity or Enlightenment? |
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A man recently began a run across the US, like many others. In a newspaper article about him, he summed up his thirst for adventure so eloquently and so simply, it baffled me!
"Why settle for just having a job and getting married? Why not just do something different? Why not just live?"
He got his inspiration from Forrest Gump, surprisingly enough.
So I made my big goal ...
I want to run or bike across not only the USA... but the world! Yes, I want to hop on a bike, ride to New York, take a plane to Spain, Head Northeast into Russia, south toward China, reach the border, plane to Japan, across through Tokyo, arrive at the ocean, and swim back to California. Okay, maybe minus that last part (although it is possible... it's been done before). Anyways ... I thought doing the US would be hard enough, this is certainly a wild idea, and I don't think it's been done before. Perfect.
Okay, I must go. The doctor says I have to take my medication and go back into that room with the padded walls. I don't mind, my friend, Gary the Gnome, keeps me company. Good bye world!
EDIT: Unfortunately, I just found an article about a man who has run across the world. Goods news; it is possible. Bad news; I wouldn't be the first one. Oh well, it would be an adventure, nontheless.
Aug. 30th, 2005 @ 02:38 pm
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